This is a post I've been thinking about for a long time now. Stuff I've wanted to have written down so that I'll always remember (I have an AWFUL memory!!) and be able to tell Addy the details one day. Since it's been almost a year - gasp! - since my last post, I'll do a quick recap of the last 11 months...this will probably be way to long...sorry!
We found out I was pregnant last May. The same weekend as Chad graduating from EOD school in Florida. What a weekend to celebrate! I also flew home that weekend for my grandmother's funeral. The pregnancy news was so new & we were so excited, but not ready to share with everyone just yet... Watching Pop take care of my grandmother over the last few years before her passing was such a picture of how Christ loves us - so selfless & unconditional & huge. Many times I was amazed at his patience and ability to care for someone who was difficult to be around. M2 always had a way with words and as her mind slipped, her words were often sharp & often directed at Pop. I didn't realize until seeing him at the funeral how much he loved her. I was heartbroken for him. I wanted to share our news with him that weekend - I wanted so badly to cheer him up. I stole Pop away from everyone else for a few minutes & told him our secret. I will never forget the look of joy on his face, the tears in his eyes & that he said "the Lord gives, and the Lord takes away." He is such a special man.
We got news that our next assignment would take us to Barksdale Air Force Base in Shreveport LA. I cried. Shreveport was not where we wanted to go. But Uncle Sam said so. Sweet Chad pretty much did the whole move on his own - I was at the end of my first trimester & really not feeling my best. We got to Shreveport early in July. The Lord definitely went ahead of us. Without boring you with all the details, we were able to move straight into our rental house & have been totally blessed with the neighbors we have here! I can't imagine living anywhere else right now.
Since I was getting into my second trimester, we wanted to find an OB quickly to continue my care. There was one OB whose name we kept hearing & decided to go with her. Chad & I had been talking about the idea of attempting a natural childbirth. I liked the idea, but wasn't sure if I could actually do it. The OB didn't give me the boost of confidence I was hoping for. She kept saying "we'll see what happens." Which in Shreveport LA means "we will induce you at 38 weeks." Definitely not what I wanted. We looked at our other options - there is a birthing center in Marshall, TX about 45 minutes away, but the idea of laboring in the car was not appealing. The hospital I was going to deliver at was less than 10 minutes away. We hired a doula to help us have the best chance for a natural delivery. The plan was to labor at home until I was at a 7 or so & then get to the hospital in time to push. Our doula encouraged us to be very thorough in our birth plan so that we could be ready to do battle for our natural birth, if necessary, when we got to the hospital. Also not appealing. I didn't want to have to argue with the nurses in throes of labor!
So fast forward to the third trimester. Around week 33 or 34 we trekked out to the birthing center in Marshall to take their childbirth class. One of the midwives, Jen, said something that really resounded with me - something to the effect of if you have a long list of things you don't want done, you are probably having your baby at the wrong place. I wanted to jump up and say "I'm having my baby at the wrong place!" As soon as Chad & I got in the car that evening I brought it up - I wanted to transfer to the birthing center. He was on board. I tried so hard not to get my hopes up. The next morning the class continued & I had a chance to talk to Jen & see if I could even transfer this late - if they had an opening for me around my due date mid-January.
Again, the Lord provided for us & we were able to move my care to the birthing center! I love everything about the birthing center. It feels like your grandparent's house. Familiar. Comfy. Quiet. Cozy. There's a kitchen available to use. Comfy beds & tubs in the labor rooms. The exam room has a chaise lounge instead of an exam table. Jen would palpate my abdomen & talk to our sweet baby during check ups. The OB never touched my belly except to find baby's heartbeat. I loved the thought that our sweet girl would be delivered by someone who already loved her & was passionate about what she was doing.
Here's where it gets good :)
Fast forward again to Christmas break. Thursday night we packed to go home. I had a weird urge earlier that day to get mine & Addy's "go bag" packed. I also pulled out the car seat. I sat on the bed & cried - I told Chad I knew I was being irrational but I wanted to stay in Shreveport over Christmas & wait for the baby. He talked me down, but I convinced him to put our bags & car seat into the back of the car. Even though we wouldn't need them. Friday Dec 23. I was 36 weeks & 6 days. Chad and I stopped at the birthing center that morning for my Strep B test on the way home for the holidays. Jen did the swab & said something like - I didn't feel your cervix & didn't go looking for it. Meaning it wasn't dilating/moving yet, which was fine - it was still early. Most first time moms don't deliver until 41 weeks. We hopped back in the car & made the 2.5 hour drive to Ennis to spend Christmas Eve with Chad's family.
We had a nice dinner & played Farkle for a while after dinner. We were sitting around the coffee table on the floor & I just couldn't get comfy - I thought the baby had been lower lately and figured that was why I felt so much pressure on my pelvis. I was getting cranky & went to bed before everyone else. Around 1 in the morning, I got up to tinkle. Once I got back in bed I felt a gush. But it wasn't much & I dashed back to the bathroom. Weird. I thought if my water really broke it would be a waterfall. I woke Chad up anyways. We decided to wait and see what happened. I had been having Braxton Hicks since the second trimester & didn't think much of the contractions I was having that night. Some were more painful than others. But they were so inconsistent. I had a few more gushes. I counted contractions - they didn't seem to be building or getting closer together. I would have contractions for 30 minutes & then they would quit for an hour. Finally around 4 or 5 I called our doula. She told me to have a glass of wine & take a bath & relax. And to touch base with her in an hour. I think I called her back around 7. No real changes, but the contractions now felt in a different place than Braxton Hicks.
Around 9 I called our midwife Jen. We were on the phone while I had a contraction. She was confident that my water had broken, I was in labor & told me to go ahead & head back to Marshall. Better safe than sorry. Chad flew into action - packed the car & got me out the door around 10. We called to let our doula & midwife know we were on our way.
Once I got settled laying down in the car, I started praying & asking God to slow things down! We had a 2.5 hour drive ahead of us & I didn't want to have a baby in the car!! (and to think, I initially was dreading a 45 minute drive from our house in Shreveport to Marshall!) I didn't have any contractions for probably 10 or 15 minutes - I thought for sure I had misread everything that my body was doing. I felt stupid.
Then things picked up. I tried to keep track of the contractions but they were right on top of each other with very little break between. I couldn't believe it. Surely I was counting wrong. I started wondering if Chad could deliver our baby on the side of the road. We talked later & he said he was having the same thoughts! I kept yelling for him to pull over so I could push her out. He was speeding along & flashing his lights at people & refused to stop unless I could feel her head!
We actually beat Jen to the birthing center. Those were the longest 10 minutes of labor - waiting for her to get there. Once I saw her face though, I knew I was going to be OK. I kept asking if I was really in labor - I didn't believe it! She walked me into the birthing center & after a quick pee break for me, we got down to business.
I was so nervous at first - we hadn't talked about birthing positions or other options during labor. But it was like my brain shut off and this very primal part of my brain took over & my body started moving on its own. Leaning forward over the bed, squatting, all fours, and laying on my side. I rotated through these positions as my body guided me. I heard everything going on, but don't think I said much during labor. Jen did a fabulous job of helping me to learn what a good push should feel like. Chad was next to me the whole time. He snuggled close between contractions & whispered encouraging words during the waves that were washing over me. He supported my weight as I squatted to push & he held my dead weight between contractions. He brought me water, chapstick & cool wash rags. He was so strong and so encouraging. Such a good coach. Hearing the excitement in his voice as he could see Addy move down the birth canal made me more excited to work harder to push her out!
I heard the worst part of the pain, the "ring of fire", would be right when the head crowned. I was so excited I didn't think it was bad. Addy's head was ear to shoulder instead of straight in line. I pushed for 2 long hours. Every push I thought "this one will get her out!" When her little noggin came out, she got tangled in the cord. Our midwife calmly & quickly stepped in & pulled Addy out & placed her on my chest. I was shocked! I knew her head was out but thought I would have a couple more pushes to get out her shoulders. It was around 4:30pm and there she was, bright eyed & beautiful! Cone head and all.
Her first moments on my chest were the sweetest. The surge of love I felt for her was completely overwhelming. Then to look over & see Chad in awe of what had just happened. I kept thinking I would cry I was so happy - but I was euphorically happy - beyond being able to be expressed with tears. I was so overwhelmed.
We had some time with just the three of us. Chad prayed. It was so special. Then my parents & Pop came in to meet our sweet Adelaide Grace. (Pop was on his way back from a cruise & stopped in Marshall when he heard I was in labor - I was so surprised & excited that he came!). We nursed & then Addy had a check up while I took a bath.
Since it was Christmas Eve, we wanted to hurry & get home. We wanted our midwife & doula to get time with their families too. We were home by 8 or 9 & got to spend the night in our own bed. Not that I slept a wink! I put our itty 6 lb sweet girl on my chest & spent the night snuggled in bed counting her breaths. I couldn't believe I was allowed to take her home - it was so surreal!
The last 3 months have been a whirl wind and are another story for next time.
We are so humbled & thankful for the sweet baby that the Lord has trusted us with. Every day I look at her & can't believe how much we have been given! The thought of raising her is overwhelming at times. I want so badly to do what is best for her. And have tortured myself many times trying to figure out what that is. However, I am learning to trust the instincts that God has given me & to give myself grace on days that are exceptionally difficult.
We are completely in love with our little Sweet Cheeks & look forward to what each day brings with her!
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